Originally written for and posted on Straw Dog Writers Guild's website:
I’ve always been involved in the arts in some way but never
would I have ever thought I’d become a writer. I picked up my first musical instrument at 8 years old, started off as a
music education major in undergrad but left with a degree in theatre. I’ve been on stage as an actor, worked behind
the scenes as a stage manager, director and producer, and have played in
several pit orchestras for musicals but never would have thought that I’d take
on such a solitary form of creating. It wasn’t until I arrived in Western MA
over 11 years ago that my subconscious would hit the pen and paper for public
consumption.
Being 27 years old and living in a college town, it was hard
to make friends. It was recommended to
me that I join a writing and performance troupe for women of color in the
area. I had no clue what I was getting
into yet was open to whatever results followed.
From this experience blossomed the need and desire to write even more
beyond the material generated just for the group. The same woman who made the recommendation
for me to join the troupe also suggested that I then enter a playwriting
competition. Acting, directing and stage
management were skills I was most comfortable with. Spilling my soul to paper again beyond the
form of a monologue was yet another challenge I was willing to face. This play received an important accolade, one
that encouraged me to continue writing.
It was an award named for my favorite cultural critic, essayist,
playwright and poet James Baldwin that came along with a nice cash prize. This recognition gave me the permission to
explore further this newly discovered trait.
As I learned more to exist in this space, one quite
different from the one of vital formative years, I became more open to pursue
writing on my own. I took on journaling,
which I now have several bookcases dedicated to the journals I’ve accumulated
over the years, as a way to reflect on writing projects past. From the time of being a member of the
writing and performance ensemble to the themes that emerged from the play, I
realized that my writing assumed a very important mission. I discovered that I was writing about how my
identity has changed through “growing up” in Pioneer Valley – and that was
through the world of dating.
Unlike most people, I didn’t begin seriously dating until I
moved to this area. One would think that
I would have pursued love earlier on in life but through attending
undergraduate and graduate school years prior, I was more determined to make my
parents proud with degrees in hand and a substantial way to support
myself. The things I learned about
myself through dating were very eye opening.
I didn’t want to acknowledge the harsh self-awareness to myself yet I
was willing to share it with the world through the monologues I wrote for the
performance group and the play (which deals with interracial dating and my
qualms with its associated issues). My
writing also became more of a social justice issues as only negative
stereotypes about women who are like me (both women of color and plus-size
women) are relegated to hyperinvisibility in mainstream media as it pertains to
romance and dating.
Sometime in late 2016 after dealing with the sudden loss of
my mom, I needed to dive head first into a project. I collected all of the free write poems and
journal entries I’ve written over the years and saw how multiple themes around
the person I’ve become while living in this area emerged. At now 39 years old, having now lived on both
sides of the “tofu curtain,” My writing reflected the experiences of a very
proud, still single plus size Black woman with natural hair and a very
statuesque figure living in an area that is extremely monochromatically
different than where I spent the first part of my life and of someone who spent
a lot of time out in coffee shops, restaurants and movie theatres alone. Born from all of this was In/Put.
Photo by Samm Smith Design & Photography
In/Put, a
self-produced spoken word album, was recorded live at Click Workspace earlier
this year in March. Instead of looking
to get the poems that became this project published, I thought to recite them
for people to listen to them as a way to pay homage to my earlier theatre
training. Plus, I love to hear myself on
the microphone. The idea of the live
recording was inspired by stand-up comedy, a form of entertainment that I
absolutely love yet have found the courage to take it on.
After a successful Indiegogo campaign, relying on very
talented friends and having my parents’ indirect support (both of my parents
have since passed on as of Christmas of 2017 and I was fortunate enough to have
access to an inheritance), In/Put: Live from the Valley will be out in
February of 2019. One of the most
important things that I did for this project was to hire a dramaturg/script
advisor. Though poetry, I wanted to
create an experience for listeners – as I’m a storyteller, I needed all of the
work to make sense together as a collection.
She, the dramaturg, helped curate the order of the poems and gave some
very good feedback on the work. I did
several rewrites on some of the poems before the recording. And also given my theatre background, I
wanted the work to flow like a monologue as it is easier for me to perform
rather than recite poetry.
I am very much looking forward to sharing this work with
others and continuing to still learn more about myself as others experience
this work for the first time. I’m unsure
what types of writing I’d produce next which I’m finding it rather difficult to
write about any other subject than dating and identity.
